Word Count: 640
Characters/Pairings: Harriet, Bud, Harriet/Bud, the Roberts kids
Disclaimer: I don't own JAG and never will. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: The grief still affects Harriet sometimes, and today is a bad day. Bud and Harriet grieve for Baby Sarah occasionally, even years later.
The grief hits Harriet at the most unexpected times sometimes. She and Bud leave the kids with the baby-sitter and spend some alone time together on Sarah’s birthday. They cry for hours over their lost daughter. The next day, everything is back to normal.
The grief hit Harriet hard today. She was playing with AJ, Jimmy, Nikki, and Ryan when thoughts of playing with five kids suddenly entered her mind. What would Sarah be like? She’d have an older brother, two younger brothers, and a younger sister. Would she look more like Harriet or Bud?
This was one of Harriet’s bad days, where she just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry all day. She couldn’t though, because she had to take care of the kids she still had. Bud and the kids kept Harriet going on days like these. They made her laugh.
“Mommy, can we go watch a movie?” questioned AJ. Jimmy, Nikki, and Ryan were in the other room, hopefully not getting into too much trouble.
“Of course we can. What do you want to watch?” Harriet questioned as she followed her oldest son into the living room. Asking what they wanted to watch was the wrong idea, as all four of the Roberts kids wanted to watch different movies.
It was chaotic in the Roberts house, but neither Harriet nor Bud minded so much. They loved their big family.
“Mommy, why don’t you choose the movie?” suggested Jimmy. The little boy always seemed to have the right answers.
“I will.” Harriet smiled at him and chose the movie. She popped the DVD in and sat down to relax with her sons and daughter. Bud would be home soon, and they could decide on what to do for dinner then.
As it was one of her bad days, Harriet couldn’t focus on the movie and her thoughts slipped to Sarah again. The day she gave birth to the little girl was a very vivid memory, one Harriet wished she could forget sometimes. Other times, she just wanted to hold onto that memory of the baby forever.
It didn’t matter that it had been years since Sarah’s death to Harriet and Bud. Her death still haunted them. They still wondered about the “what if’s”.
Before Harriet knew it, the movie was over and Bud was home. The lawyer noticed his wife’s behavior and wished there was something he could do. He’d be able to get out of her grief today, but it’d probably be hard. If the kids weren’t able to get out of it today, that meant it was a really bad day for Harriet, which were few and far between. The bad days were getting further apart too, but they still occurred.
“I love you,” Bud whispered to his wife. He turned on the radio and started twirling her around. Within a minute or so, the kids and Harriet were laughing. The two danced around the living room for a half hour, until it was time to order dinner. They were going to get pizza.
“I love you too,” Harriet whispered back when they were finished dancing. She was so grateful to her husband. He always knew just what to do.
Yes, Harriet and Bud still occasionally had bad days where they grieved for their daughter, but they were getting through it together.
Harriet finished up with cleaning the dining room table, pushed thoughts of Sarah away, and went to go join her family.
She smiled at her laughing husband and children. They were all adorable like this. It made her happy to see moments like this.
Bud and Harriet would always grieve for the daughter they had lost, but focusing on the family they had was what mattered to them.
The Roberts family had each other, and they could get through anything together.