Word Count: 1,591
Spoilers: Based on promos and speculation for 47 Seconds
Characters/Pairings: Castle, Beckett, Lanie, Alexis, Martha
Disclaimer: I don't own Castle and never will. No copyright infringement intended.
After an unexpected betrayal, Castle is left reeling. Tension rises in his and Kate's relationship.
Kate Beckett wasn’t even aware of what she had revealed to her suspect or who had overheard until she left the interrogation room and found Castle with a look of betrayal on his face. Her heart dropped into her stomach and nausea rose up. She had a bad feeling about where this was going to lead.
“You remember everything?” Castle was in complete and utter shock and was feeling hurt, but the most prevalent feeling was betrayal.
She didn’t know how she had the energy to even nod but she did. A tear leaked out and she wiped it away. “I didn’t want you to find out like this, Castle. I’m sorry.” She was terrified of what was going to happen next.
“Why didn’t you tell me? You could have just told me you didn’t feel the same way. You didn’t have to fucking lie about it.” Fury was taking control right now, and Castle didn’t care that they had an audience. Luckily, Gates was out for the day.
“I was scared. I know it’s not a good excuse, but it’s true. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” Kate was aware she was begging for forgiveness now, but she didn’t care. She was beyond desperate now.
“I can’t deal with this right now. I’m sorry.” He turned around and walked out of the precinct, leaving her staring at the spot where he had been. She wanted to fall apart, but refused. This could still be fixable. She just hoped she hadn’t fucked everything up completely.
When her son walked into the apartment, Martha immediately knew something was wrong. “What is it?” She eyed Richard warily.
“Kate remembers everything about her shooting. She lied to me and the only reason the truth came out is because she screwed up talking to a suspect. How could she do that to me?” His emotions were still warring between hurt and anger, and Castle just wanted to punch the wall or something else that was breakable.
Martha sighed and urged him to sit down next to her. “So I suppose our talk earlier wouldn’t have helped things anyway. I’m sorry she lied to you. Tell me the whole story.” And she listened to the entire thing, from beginning to end.
“What do I do, Mother? I am just so angry right now, and I have no idea what my game plane should be.” He loved her, but he wasn’t sure if he could forgive Kate. This was big. It wasn’t like she had lied about her dinner plans – She had “forgotten” that he had told her he loved her.
“I think you should treat this rationally. Don’t talk to her angry – It won’t end well for either of you and you’ll both just end up hurt again. I know you’re in pain and you’re furious, but don’t let it affect what your next move should be. Kate did say she was scared, and terror is a powerful motivator. I don’t condone her actions, but I understand them.” Martha hoped her son and the detective would be able to work out their problems – She wanted them together. They would be perfect as a couple. She wanted them to get past this.
“I will talk to her tomorrow at the precinct because we do still have to solve this case.” He grabbed leftovers out of the fridge and tore into them. Castle went to bed shortly afterwards and found to his surprise that he was even angrier once he woke up. He didn’t know why, but the author also fed off it. He’d need to remain strong for his conversation with Kate.
Kate wasn’t looking forward to seeing Castle – She desperately wanted him to forgive her, but she was terrified he wouldn’t. Was this unforgiveable? She hoped not. He probably wouldn’t want to be with her anymore after this, anyway. She had probably ruined their chances at a relationship, but their friendship could still be salvaged. No matter how much it hurt, she could deal with this as long as Castle was still in her life. Her heart started to race when Castle walked in and the nausea returned. “Hi.”
“We need to talk.” He wasn’t about to let them have small talk – This conversation was important and needed to be held now. He wasn’t letting Kate out of this.
“We’ll go into one of the interrogation rooms then.” Kate’s mouth went numb and she reluctantly followed Castle into a room. Unbeknownst to the two, Ryan and Esposito walked over to the window to eavesdrop on their conversation. They were both extremely curious about where this was going to go. Esposito had already decided he was going to kick Castle’s ass if he hurt Beckett, but Ryan was more rational. He figured they had both hurt each other and there was no sense in blaming either of them.
Castle didn’t waste a minute. “You lied to me for nearly a year and didn’t talk to me for three months. I understand that you had been shot, but you could have told me you weren’t ready. I understood that. But to fucking lie about it? Why would you do that?”
Kate bit her lip to hold back tears – She refused to let him see her like this. “I know. I’m so sorry, Rick. You have to believe me. But I was absolutely terrified and I didn’t know what to do. Lying seemed like the logical option until I was ready. And that was no excuse, but I was going to tell you soon. I just didn’t know how to work my way up to it. It was a mistake.” She stared at him, waiting for a response she didn’t want to be there for, to even hear. She just wanted to rewind back to yesterday, hell, the day she had even lied in the first place to change what she had said.
“I could maybe possibly understand to you lying to me in the beginning, but it’s been ten months since you were shot. You’ve done nothing but lie to me since! I can’t even look at you right now.”
“Rick, please. Don’t leave me.” She reluctantly gave in and let out a sob. Kate hadn’t wanted him to see her reaction, but she was past caring at this point. She had a horrible feeling that she might have just lost him for good in every aspect.
“Oh, I’m not planning on leaving you. I’m sticking around here and will continue to follow you around. However, I don’t know how long that’s going to last. As of right now, we’re just partners. Not friends, not two people in love. And that’s all we can be.” Rick hated saying this, but this was his solution for now. He didn’t know what else to do.
Kate sobbed again. “We can’t ever be what we were?” The numb feeling from the day before returned and she wasn’t sure what to do. She had pushed the man she loved away and hurt him, and she had no defense for that.
He sighed deeply. “We can’t. And I’m sorry for that.” He gave her watery smile and then prepared to go out to Kate’s desk. Ryan and Esposito scrambled away to their desks just in time as Castle sat down in a chair.
Kate’s knees buckled and she collapsed to the floor before picking herself up. The detective bolted out and headed towards the morgue, looking for Lanie. She desperately needed her best friends. When she stumbled into the morgue, she missed Alexis completely.
Lanie knew something was wrong immediately – She guessed it had something to do with yesterday. “Kate, what’s wrong?”
“I ruined everything.” She hadn’t realized she had until the conversation with Castle today. She wished that she had the foresight to see the consequences of her actions earlier.
“Oh, sweetie. I’m sure you didn’t.” Lanie held her arms out and Kate rushed into them. She hated feeling this way, being this vulnerable, but all her walls were down and she was falling apart at the seams.
“I did. He told me we couldn’t ever be what we were.” Kate knew she had to pick herself up some more and get back to work, pretend that Castle hadn’t destroyed her, but she wasn’t ready yet. She needed her best friend’s comfort.
Alexis gasped and Kate’s head shot up. “Kate, it’s going to be okay. I’m sure of it. My dad loves you and he’ll forgive you for anything.” The teenager had a good feeling she was right. She wasn’t aware of what had happened, but she was sure her father and the detective could get through whatever was wrong.
After about ten minutes, Kate pulled herself together and re-applied her make-up. She was not going to let Castle have the satisfaction of seeing her red, puffy eyes from all the crying she had done. She returned to the precinct, bound and determined to solve this case.
Castle noticed what she had tried to hide and felt guilty about how much he had hurt her. However, he refused to give into those feelings because he had to make her see what she had done to him. There were consequences to actions, and Kate couldn’t escape.
The problems between Beckett and Castle reverberated around the precinct, and the two were left floundering in the aftermath.
It would be a long time before their relationship could ever get back on the right tracks.
For now, Kate Beckett and Rick Castle suffered silently.