Word Count: 1,463
Spoilers: Up to Lost
Characters/Pairings: Allison, Jack, Jo, Zane, Fargo, referenced Jack/Jo
Disclaimer: I don't own Eureka and never will. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: Allison's life is crashing down around her and she struggles not to fall apart.
Allison Blake spent most of her days now struggling not to fall apart. Work and Jenna distracted her for part of the day, but her daughter automatically went to Jack or Jo when she needed something. She understood why, but it still hurt. She had missed out on so much and was now floundering.
To make matters worse, Allison was staying in S.A.R.A.H. because she had nowhere else to live. Jack had sold her house after the Astraeus crew was declared dead. Now, she had to face Jack and Jo’s relationship all the time. The two were trying not to flaunt their relationship in front of Allison, but sometimes failed. She was grateful for their efforts, however, and tried to push down her bitterness. She refused to let them see how much she was hurting. She didn’t want to give either of them the satisfaction of her pain. Deep down, Allison realized that thought was probably irrational, but she honestly didn’t care.
The Astraeus crew was closer than they had ever been before now because of the four years they missed. All of them loved their friends, but they hadn’t been gone for four years. Everyone was having a hard time adjusting to the changes.
When a slightly tipsy Allison spotted Zane on the street, she suggested a plan that shocked him. He just gaped at her before answering. “Um, no thank you. One, you’re drunk. Two, I’m not interested in you that way. And three, I refuse to do that to Carter. You’re his girlfriend. Well ex, I guess. But there’s no way we’re having revenge sex.”
Allison rolled her eyes. “You could have at least thought it over some more.” She didn’t want to have sex with Zane, but that was beside the point – She just wanted to piss off Jack and Jo. Why wasn’t he up for that amazing plan?
“Why don’t I take you home?” Zane was worried about her and he wasn’t sure why.
“Okay.” She handed her keys over, and he drove her back to S.A.R.A.H. As soon as Allison got inside, she headed for the liquor cabinet. She just wanted to get drunk and not think about anything. That way, it wouldn’t hurt anymore.
“Are you really sure you want to drink so much?” Zane eyed her warily, hoping this didn’t end badly. He had a feeling it would, however.
“Yes, I do. Would you care to join me?” She poured another glass and offered it to him.
He turned it down. “No thanks. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I don’t want to get drunk. I think I’m going home.”
She shrugged. “More for me then.”
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay, Allison?” He almost asked S.A.R.A.H. to watch over her, but then remembered the AI wasn’t part of the house anymore.
“I’m fine! Would you stop bothering me?” She was starting to get angry now. Why was Zane bothering her about this? So what if she was drinking? It wasn’t that big of a deal. This was just the only coping method that seemed to work.
“Okay, fine.” Zane realized he was fighting a losing battle so he backed off. He was going to keep an eye on her, though since Allison was freaking him out a little. He told her good-bye then turned around and left.
Allison continued to drink until Jo came home, without Jenna. The five year old was spending the night at a friend’s house. “How much have you had?” Jo looked around at the empty bottles littering the living room.
“Enough. Why do you care?” Allison didn’t care that she was acting unfairly at this point. She was tired of hiding behind her mask.
“I care because you’re my friend, Allison. I’m worried about you.” Jo pushed down the guilt she was feeling because it had no place in her life. She and Jack had thought Zane and Allison were dead. There was nothing wrong with their relationship, especially since they were in love.
“Oh. So now I’m your friend. Was I still your “friend” when you started fucking my boyfriend?” Allison smiled in satisfaction at the hurt look on Jo’s face. She was glad that she had hit her where it hurt – That had been her intention.
“I’m not going to do this with you because you’re drunk. Again, I’m sorry for what happened, but it did. Carter and I are in love. Zane backed off, why can’t you?” Jo hoped Allison forgave her someday.
“Zane wants you to be happy, but he hurts. Do you know I offered to fuck him tonight, but he turned me down because he couldn’t do that to Carter? That’s what being a good friend is. You might want to look in the dictionary.” She took another drink.
“I’m not doing this. Go sleep it off and apologize to me in the morning.” Jo walked away and headed towards the bedroom, ignoring Allison’s glare.
Allison did end up apologizing the next morning, but only because Carter cornered her about her behavior the night before.
“Allie, you can’t do this. Do you realize how much you hurt Jo? I had to calm her down last night because she was so upset over what you said to me.” His guilt was rearing up again, too. He loved Jo, but he also still loved Allison. Carter wasn’t quite sure what to do about that.
She resisted the urge to snort. Jo was hurt? What about her pain? Didn’t Carter care about that? Apparently not. “Fine, I’ll do it.”
She ran into Jo right before the officer went to go pick up Jenna from her friend’s house and apologized then. “It’s fine. No big deal.” Jo had already forgiven Allison.
“Great then.” After Allison saw and had a conversation with her daughter about her day, Allison headed to the liquor store. She desperately wanted to get drunk again, and Carter and Jo were out of alcohol. She did feel a little guilty about what she had said to Jo, but she was furious with them. She would have been less hurt if Carter had moved on with someone else.
She drank in her room that night so Jenna didn’t see her. Allison didn’t want to do that to her daughter. When the doctor was sure that her daughter was asleep, Allison sneaked out into the living room to drink there.
Allison continued this pattern for the next three weeks. She buried herself in work and her children, but once Jenna was in bed and work was over, all bets were off.
The doctor was taking a walk near Café Diem when she ran into Fargo. She hadn’t talked to him one on one much since they had gotten back. “Allison, you don’t look so good. You want to go eat something? Do you have a fever?”
And then Allison broke. She burst into sobs and futilely tried to stop the tears. Fargo panicked for a few seconds, but then led her into Café Diem. Luckily, no one was there and Vincent walked into the kitchen when he saw them. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. What’s wrong?” He awkwardly patted her shoulder.
“Everything. My little girl doesn’t even know me, and I don’t think she wants to. Jo and Jack are happy together. I hate it so much, but I can’t do anything about it. How can I come between that? But I don’t even understand why they had to fall in love in the first place. It makes sense, but I hate them so much. It feels like my entire life has fallen apart. At least you have Holly. I don’t have anyone. Jenna doesn’t love me. I don’t know what to do.”
Fargo stared at her in shock. “Wow, that was a lot of information. Stop crying, okay? Of course Jenna loves you – You’re her mom. Yes, Carter and Jo have raised her, but you’re trying your best to make up for lost time. And Jo and Carter only got together because they had no one else. Their relationship probably won’t last. And you’re wrong about Holly and me – We have issues. We missed four years of our lives, just like you did. But you can’t let this ruin your life.” He hugged her and Allison leaned into his chest, still sobbing.
After calming her down, Fargo took Allison back to S.A.R.A.H. He made sure he was okay, and then left.
Although Fargo’s talk had helped, Allison was far from okay. She was trapped in a cycle of anger and depression, one that would be hard to get out of it.
It was only going to get worse before it got better – Especially before the truth was revealed.