Word Count: 1,124
Warnings: Major character deaths
Characters/Pairings: Meredith, Cristina, Alex
Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy and never will. No copyright infringement intended.
Spoilers: Based on speculation and spoilers for Flight
Meredith can't help but rage at the unfairness of it all - That Derek survived a shooting, but died in a plane crash.
Meredith Grey is furious beyond belief. She can’t remember ever being this angry before, and it only makes her angrier when one of the counselors Owen hired mentions that anger is a normal part of grief.
She thinks it’s so fucking unfair that Derek survived the shooting, but he died in a plane crash. And Lexie, her little baby sister, is gone, too. It’s not right. How is she supposed to gone on without her husband and sister? Zola’s the only thing keeping her sane right now, and she’d share her daughter with the others to help them, but Meredith’s selfish. She needs Zola with her right now so she can deal and just not think for five minutes.
She wonders what everyone else is up to. Last time she saw Mark, he had been so hysterical that a doctor had to sedate him just to calm him down. Meredith knows Arizona hasn’t left Callie and Sofia’s sides since they got back.
Meredith has to plan two funerals – Molly offered to take care of Lexie’s, but she doesn’t know her other half-sister well and doesn’t trust her, so she refused the offer. Molly’s been gone for a long time, hasn’t been around for Lexie like she has. The thought of even making arrangements sends Meredith scrambling to the bathroom to throw up. Alex is watching and follows her in.
“Mer, you okay?” He’s worried about her (everybody, actually) and is planning on keeping an eye of on her for a long time. Alex feels guilty that Arizona took his place on that plane. He knows he’d feel even worse if she had died and left her wife and kid behind. But Meredith has lost her husband and sister and that has to be absolutely devastating.
“Do I fucking look like I’m okay?” She doesn’t mean to be so angry at him – It’s not his fault that plane crashed after all – but she can’t help it.
Alex doesn’t even flinch or take it personally. He knows that Meredith lashing out is the best way to channel her grief at this moment. “No, you don’t. But you need to talk to someone instead of staring into space and not leaving Zola’s side. She needs to go have fun in the daycare. I’m sure Bailey will take her for you.” He cringes in anticipation of her answer because he knows he’s about to be yelled at again.
“Why should I let go of my daughter? I need her right now, okay? Am I being unreasonable here? My daughter just lost her father and aunt. Zola’s never going to know them! How am I supposed to deal with that?” Not for the first time, she wishes the case in Boise had never come up. They wouldn’t be dealing with this fiasco then.
“I don’t know. It sucks, but I can’t tell you what your life’s going to be like. But I want you to accept our help. Please?” He didn’t even care that he was begging now. This was important.
“What are you talking about?” Cristina walks into the bathroom and just stares at them. She watched Meredith and Alex go into the bathroom, and she hopes Evil Spawn got through to Meredith. She’s also worried about her best friend – her person, no matter what she said before.
“Meredith’s refusing to leave Zola’s side and is trying to smother her.” Alex will not let Meredith get away with this.
“I’m going to take the job offer in Boston. There’s nothing left for me here anymore. Too many bad memories.” Meredith just blankly stares at the wall.
“There is something left for you here, Mer.” Alex is furious himself now. He understands Meredith’s grieving, but he doesn’t like her like this.
“Seattle Grace is cursed! The bomb, the shooting, that flood, and all the other shit I can’t remember. I can’t be here anymore.” Meredith can’t stay in the hospital she used to love when so many bad events have occurred here. She just can’t do it after this latest disaster. And the thought that Alex wants her to stay only makes her even more pissed.
“I can’t argue with that.” Cristina wants to, but she believes Meredith is right. The hospital has never been the same since the shooting, anyway. The plane crash completely made up her mind about leaving – Owen cheated, and she’s not sure she can forgive him. She needs to leave, too.
“And you’re going to Hopkins anyway, why do you care if I stay?” Meredith waits for Alex’s comeback and hopes it’s bad so she can scream at him. That’s all she wants.
He’s not falling for it, however. He will not be Meredith’s punching bag – She needs another release. One that’s healthier. “I’m not doing this, Mer. And I’ve decided that I’m not going to Hopkins.”
“What, why?” Meredith is genuinely surprised and really confused. It’s a great opportunity for him, and Alex shouldn’t pass it up.
“Because Arizona was hurt pretty badly and I’m taking over Peds while she recovers. I can’t leave her now. It’s partially my fault she’s even in this position. I should have waited to tell her.” Alex’s guilt is overwhelming him just a little. He’ll probably get over it eventually, especially since he had a long talk with Callie and Arizona, and they both forgave him.
“You’re a fucking idiot, Alex. A noble one, but that’s beside the point.” Cristina secretly admires him for his decision. She’d never do it – Hell, after the last trauma she got married on a whim and it ended up being a big mistake, even though she still loves Owen.
“I know, but it’s my decision.”
“I’m going outside for some fresh air.” Meredith wishes they weren’t in a strange hospital so far from home. She wants to be back in Seattle, but the thought of flying makes her physically ill. She’s not ready to get on another plane, probably won’t be for a long time.
“I’ll go with you.” Cristina doesn’t want Meredith to be alone – It’s really not a good idea. So she follows an angry Meredith outside the emergency room, ignoring the glares sent her way.
It’s going to take the four survivors of the plane crash a long time to recover. There’ll be more bad days than good, especially in the beginning. But they’ve been down this road before, after the shooting, and they will deal with their grief and trauma in different ways.
Meredith Grey is furious and she’ll have a hard time letting go of that anger for a long time. In fact, she won’t even shed tears for months.
It isn’t fair, and that’s why Meredith will rage for such a long period of time.