Fandom: Teen Wolf
Word Count: 550
Spoilers: Up to Raving
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Wolf and never will. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: Derek Hale is broken, but he doesn't want anyone else to know that.
Derek Hale is broken and he knows it. Hell, everyone knows it. His life fell apart the day his family was murdered in that fire. He shut down completely after Laura’s death, her loss destroying him even further.
He hides behind a mask and doesn’t let anyone in. It’s his fault his family died and he will never forgive himself for that. He can’t ever make it up to them or gain forgiveness. Derek just has to deal with it.
Isaac, Scott, Erica, and Boyd – okay, even Stiles - are important to him, but they won’t get any closer than he allows them to. He’s happy with the pack he chose, but he doesn’t want them to end up like his family. Derek wouldn’t be able to handle that. They’re already in enough danger as it is from the Jackson and the Kanima’s master and the Argents.
And that’s another thing he’s fucked up – He’s brought the Argents down on their heads even more now that he’s bitten Allison’s mother. She deserved it for trying to kill Scott, however, no matter how much he feels guilty about the potential – and probable – repercussions. He knows Scott is going to be pissed, and that Allison is going to hate him. It’s not anything new however – This is what he does. Everyone should expect it from him. Isaac, Erica, and Boyd are going to learn the truth eventually, and they’re going to hate him. It’s only a matter of time, and he wants to put it off for as long as possible.
Sometimes he wishes that Laura had never come back to Beacon Hills because then they wouldn’t be in this mess. But then he feels guilty about thinking about because he can’t stop picturing her death. Along with the fire, Laura’s violent end still haunts his nightmares. He knows she never forgave him for the fire no matter what she claimed. Laura always accepted his apologies and just told him that he’d be emotionally manipulated by someone evil and he couldn’t have realized, but Derek just thinks his sister was trying to make him feel better. He doubts she ever really believed that.
In his darkest moments, he wonders what his parents would think of him now. Would they be happy with him? Or would they hate him? Derek’s trying his best, but he doesn’t think he’s living up to his potential. They wanted him to go to college, fall in love and have kids, but Derek knows he’s failed them even more in those aspects.
No one’s ever going to love him – How could they? His pack is loyal, but Scott doesn’t trust him and Stiles hates him. Not that he cares what the human thinks anyway, but that’s beside the point. And this entire fucked up situation is what got the Sheriff fired, and he’s pretty sure that he’s also at fault for that.
But Derek is okay most days. He doesn’t try to let this bring him down – He won’t let it. He puts on a mask and is damn good at it. No one’s getting past his walls anymore – Kate Argent made sure of that.
Derek Hale may be broken, but he’s also a survivor. He’s a badass Alpha and he will do the best job he can.